Today's apocalypse starts in...

[faceless]

End-Of-The-Worlders® are today offering you special DISCOUNTED countdowns to Armageddon! Apply now and be the first in your ZIP CODE to buy into this week's RAPTURE!!® Call now, and save your families - you'll regret it if you don't, FOREVER®.

[Brown Sauce]

according to it then, jimmy jesus was born 7 years before he was born. By a virgin.

I'm stumped.

[piper99]

Gotta laff at all this guys... they are basing on Noah,, which with common sense is a nonsensicle story...

He built an ark, put 2 of each animal... goin by current Species figures..

Animals: estimated 3-30 million species
|
|--Invertebrates: 97% of all known species
| `--+--Sponges: 10,000 species
| |--Cnidarians: 8,000-9,000 species
| |--Molluscs: 100,000 species
| |--Platyhelminths: 13,000 species
| |--Nematodes: 20,000+ species
| |--Annelida: 12,000 species
| `--Arthropods
| `--+--Crustaceans: 40,000 species
| |--Insects: 1-30 million+ species
| `--Arachnids: 75,500 species
|
`--Vertebrates: 3% of all known species
`--+--Reptiles: 7,984 species
|--Amphibians: 5,400 species
|--Birds: 9,000-10,000 species
|--Mammals: 4,475-5,000 species
`--Ray-Finned Fishes: 23,500 species


10's of millions of species x 2.. lol... That gotta be a big ark... probably a ship as big as a continent..

Churches must be skint cause of credit crunch, so pilin this on to get everyones cash, cos no point believers of this keepin their money is there.. as they be gone soon this year.. so who they gonna give it to... durrrr a skint church... LMAO

[luke]

World to end on Saturday, say New York preachers



It's raining in New York, and everyone tries to get out of the rain. Not Manny. Unflappable, he stands on a corner with his umbrella, warning people that on Saturday, May 21, the world will end.

All over New York, preachers armed with T-shirts, brochures, books and posters are preaching the end of the world. Using a complex numerical calculation from the Bible, there are even advertisements on the New York city subway warning of the "great earthquake" that accompanies the advent of Judgement Day.

"According to the Bible, in the Book of Revelations there will be a worldwide earthquake," Manny said. "We're not sure if it will happen at the same time everywhere, because times are different. But it is supposed to happen simultaneously around the world," the 56-year old from the Dominican Republic told AFP.

The date of May 21, 2011 may seem random, but it is based on a numerical analysis by Harold Camping, the president of Family Radio, a religious broadcaster based in California.

"According to Genesis, when the flood occurred in the year 4990, God told Noah that in seven days he would destroy the earth," Manny explained. "And he destroyed it in seven days.

"But Peter said: 'I know that one day for me is like a thousand years.' So 4990 plus 7001 years (the equivalent of seven days) equals 2011," he explained.



Not only that, May 21 coincides with the 17th day of the second month of the calendar used during the Biblical flood, according to Camping.

Nearby the corner where Manny is prophesying, Borce, 43, is handing out leaflets and explaining to anyone who will listen that they have a few hours left to find salvation.

"Right now there is still salvation, but when May 21st gonna come, the salvation program is finished, God gonna shut the door, and after that only five months remain for the unsaved of the world, and they're gonna be suffering and on the 21st October, God gonna destroy this world with fire," Borce said.

If Manny and Borce are out on the noisy New York City streets everyday spreading the word, they are planning to be in a quieter place when the fateful moment arrives.

"Until Friday, I gonna still pray for God for mercy. Saturday I'll be at home, just watching the news, because the doors will be shut," said Borce, who is American.

"I will kneel and ask God's mercy to see if he can save me, because God wants salvation for everyone," said Manny, who was at his side.

Despite their faith, both men realize that their message is often ridiculed. "People do not believe it," said Manny. "It is typical of what happened in Noah's time, where only eight people were saved. According to the Bible, only 200 million people will be saved" this time, Manny said.

To Borce, that reaction is predictable. "The people are laughing, they laugh at us," he says, adding: "Pray until Friday."

Meanwhile, enterprising atheists across 26 states have set up a business to care for the animal companions of any Christians who are selected to go to heaven when Jesus Christ comes back

"You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved. But when the Rapture comes, what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind?" Eternal Earth-Bound Pets says on its website, offering to "take that burden off your mind."

The post-doomsday pet rescue service already has 259 clients, who have paid $135 for the first pet and $20 for each additional pet at the same address, to ensure the faithful animal companions are looked after and loved even when their Christian owners have gone to the other side.

All the rescuers are sworn atheists, which means they will definitely be left behind on Earth, ready to rescue pets after the Rapture.

When judgment day happens, Eternal Earth-Bound Pets co-founder Bart Centre "will notify all of our rescuers to go into action and they will drive to the homes of anyone who's signed a contract with us, pick up their pets and take them home and adopt them as their own, keeping them happy and healthy for the rest of their lives.

"This will happen only if and when the Rapture happens. So we do not expect to have to do anything on Saturday," Centre told AFP.

Contracts are good for 10 years, just in case the Mayan calendar prophesy, which predicts the world will end in December next year, comes true.

from http://uk.news.yahoo.com/preachers-prophesying-end-world-york-000338169.html

so, if the world was going to end in a few days time, how would you spend your last days?

[faceless]

Thank God for non-christians eh!

[Brown Sauce]

fuk me

[eefanincan]

Guess it didn't happen after all.

[luke]

i do feel sorry for those people that have spent all their money expecting this to happen! i wanna see what the guy behind it all is going to say! another miscalculation?

[SpursFan1902]

So what do we do now? I didn't expect to be here, so didn't make any plans... LOL!

[luke]

[faceless]

Mayan 'apocalypse' codex goes on display
24 Feb 2012
thelocal.de

The famous Dresdner Codex, one of the original Mayan books that set the end of the Mayan calendar on December 21, 2012, went on display in Dresden on Friday as part of an exhibition on the apocalyptic prophecy. The 78-page book, also known as the Codex Dresdensis, which has been in the eastern German town since 1739, is being exhibited for the next few months in the Book Museum of the Saxon State Library.

The codex consists of 39 leaves made of bark, each around 20 centimetres long, encased in wooden lids and wrapped in jaguar hide. It is thought to have been written and illustrated in several phases the 13th century – when the high period of Mayan culture had already been dead for at least four centuries – by up to eight authors. Despite the distance, researchers believe the book’s authors had access to and could easily read the old Mayan texts.

The codex is thought to have been sent to Europe in 1520 by Hernán Cortés, a Spanish conquistador who conquered the Aztec empire. He sent shiploads of treasure to the Holy Roman Emperor Charles V, who kept the gold and left the books to rot in the archives. According to a report in Die Welt daily, the codex was rediscovered 200 years later in the possession of Viennese citizen by Johann Christian Götze, court librarian at the royal library of Saxony in Dresden. He bought it, but it took two more generations before researchers began deciphering it.

Legendary German explorer Alexander von Humboldt published five pages of the book in 1810, but it was not till 17 years later that French historian Constantine Rafinesque matched the hieroglyphs in the book to inscriptions on ancient stones in southern Mexico. Further investigations eventually uncovered three other codices – in Madrid, Paris and Mexico City – but the Dresden book considered the most ornate and complete. It allowed Dresden librarian Ernst Förstemann to decipher the ancient Mayan calendar structure and number system.

Eventually, researchers used the Dresdner Codex to determine that the end of the 13th Mayan calendar cycle would fall on December 21, 2012. This date is illustrated in the book with the image of a giant crocodile spewing water from its mouth. Many esoteric researchers have interpreted this as a sign of a coming apocalypse, but archaeologists and other researchers have downplayed this notion.

Sven Gronemeyer, a researcher of Mayan culture from North Rhine-Westphalia said last year that his decoding of an old stone tablet referencing 2012 has shown that the Native American civilization merely expected the return of one of their gods on that date.

[cortessy]

Did the Mayan calendar start at the beginning of the world? I don't believe in this, but I think a lot of people do. I've even heard of far more fantastical stories people believe in. So I thought I would ask. If the Mayans predicted the end wouldn't they have predicted the beginning with their calendar? So did the Mayan calendar start at the beginning of the world as we know it?

[faceless]

As far as I know, their idea is that we are going through different 'ages' in the same way as we go through hours of the day.

So in X years, we'll get back to the same position again

[SquareEyes]

So it's all an interpretation of a picture of a crocodile vomiting. Bit of a stretch that it means we don't need to worry about Christmas shopping from this point onwards.

[faceless]

German drops Mayan skull, endangers mankind
10 May 2012

An ancient Mayan skull stolen from Tibet by Nazis - said to have magical powers to enable humanity to survive the December 2012 apocalypse - has been dropped by a lab assistant in eastern Germany, chipping its chin.

The volcanic rock skull, named Quauthemoc, was dropped - or, more eerily, may have fallen of its own accord - during a photo-shoot at a laboratory in the small town of Glauchau, Saxony. "It was probably put down somewhere a bit wobbly," an eye-witness told Bild newspaper. "Suddenly it crashed to the floor. A big piece broke off the chin. It's really tragic."

But the skull's private owner - who was not in the room at the time of the fateful accident - was more sanguine. "It was a bit of a shock at first, but then I found the damage was fairly marginal, so I was quite relieved," skull-owner Thomas Ritter told The Local. "I don't think it's a bad omen."

The 43-year-old amateur historian calls his Mayan skull Quauthemoc, and says it is one of 13 magic skulls that will help humanity survive the impending apocalypse on December 21, 2012 – the last day of the Mayan calendar. On that day, Ritter plans to bring Quauthemoc to a meeting with the other owners and their skulls to an ancient Mayan site in Mexico. "The prophecy says that the skulls will reveal a secret knowledge to humanity on that day," said Ritter. "But I can't say more than that. The skulls might start speaking or something, but I have no idea."

The journey taken by Quauthemoc to the lab in Saxony is worthy of an Indiana Jones adventure – Ritter said it had been kept in southern India and Tibet, where it was stolen from a monastery by a Nazi expedition between 1937 and 1939. After the war, it was found among the belongings of Nazi Interior Minister and Gestapo chief Heinrich Himmler, a well-known connoisseur of black magic and ancient pagan cultures.

Ritter wrote in 2009 that a man whose grandfather was present when Himmler was arrested and took the skull, later gave it to him at meeting in Wiltshire, southern England. The man told Ritter that Quauthemoc had chosen to “continue its journey” with him. Ritter said he was not concerned that the chip on the skull's chin will limit its ability to prevent Armageddon.

"A lot of the other skulls have some kind of superficial damage too," he pointed out, rejecting the theory that butter-fingered lab assistants in Saxony would be responsible if the world ends in December.